*The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they
Fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside
And rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
Secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
*
*The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
Having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look
At the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
Behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"*
*The 3rd Affair:
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
Startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever
Seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to
Be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for
Posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,
Opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"*
*The 4th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
Your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."* |