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How To Get Your Wife or Girlfriend To Want More Sex

Copyright © 2007 Mr L.Rx

The biggest complaint that guys in relationships have, is not getting enough sex from their wife or girlfriend.

In a recent AskMen.com poll 44% of men said (when asked about their overall sex life):

"I wish I had sex more frequently."

Onour website, DatingToRelating.com, in a poll of single men "How to GetYour Wife Or Girlfriend To Want More Sex" and "How To Get Sex MoreOften" were two of the books single men were most interested in reading.

Guys I've talked to sometimes think that women just aren't as sexual or into sex as much as guys.

My experience, however, has been to the contrary. Women are by far MORE sexual and enjoy sex much more than men do. Their orgasms typically last longer and as a group they are much more capable of multiple orgasms than men.

Yet,is very typical to hear a married guy complain that he only gets sexfrom his wife or girlfriend once a month. And of course it has been thesubject of many a comedy on TV and in the movies.

So why is it if women are more sexual then men that men are the ones who are usually complaining about not getting enough sex.

The answer lies in two differences between men and women.

1)Women don't get physically turned on as easily as men. And converselywomen get turned off more easily then men. So if I guy is not doing orsaying the right things to his girl, she won't get turned on, and infact might get turned off.

2)Combine that with the fact that women have one ability that men don'thave and you will start to get a better understanding of the situation-- Even though women are more sexual and enjoy sex more deeply than menare capable of, women are also capable of going without sex for longerperiods of time. Women are not as sexually "needy" as men.

Let's put it another way - Sex is first and foremost a "quality" thing for women.

Look at some of the women's complaint's in polls:

90% of women reported that they wished their partner kissed them more or with more passion.

65% of women felt their partner did not have a good kissing technique.

So you see men are more into quantity and women are more into quality.

But,here is what you should know, if you give a women the "quality" ofsexual relations that she is desiring then she will want the quantity.And when you really turn your woman on, and she is in the quality andquantity mode. Most women will have most men on the mat screaming "NoMas" in a short period of time.

Soif your women is not having sex with you as frequently as you'd like,then you can safely assume that you are not doing something right inthe "quality" department. You are either turning her off or not turningher on - in any case you are doing something wrong.

Now, what do guys do wrong to mess up the frequency of theirsex life. Well there are probably 100s of answers to that one andmillions of unique variations on the theme. But, here are some of themore basic and frequent mistakes that men make in their relationshipswith women.

First let's look at what guys can do to turn women off.

1)Being a slob, smelly, or physically disgusting. - I don't think I haveto go into this too much, but if you want sex, you might tryapproaching your women when you are fresh and clean, rather than dirtyand smelly. If you like to have sex when you go to bed at night, trytaking a shower first. Make sure she knows you are doing that, then getromantic.

2)Not taking care of your responsibilities as a man. - Most often it isnot about being dirty and smelly but about not doing your job as a man.Men are supposed to support a family. They are supposed to take care ofwomen. Although women are liberated these days and work and earn moneylike men, that doesn't mean that having to work and support a family turns them on. Mostwomen are ok with contributing to the support of the family unit orboyfriend/girlfriend team, but when they start contributing more thanthe man and the man is plainly not doing his fair share because he islazy or some such other trait, that's when women get a little turnedoff and resentful.

3)Sometimes, it is not about career and the responsibilities of manhood ,but about equality of effort and fair exchange amongst group members.So when the guy and the women both have jobs and the guy is holding hisown and even making a little more than the women, that is all goodexcept when they both come home and she is expected to clean up thehouse and do his laundry while he sits around lazily and drinks beer.

You see, all of the above scenarios are mood killers for women. Eventhough women may tolerate some of these behaviors at first, in a longterm relationship these kind of behaviors eventually catch up with herand start killing the mood.

4)On top of that is communication. Because of the above perceivedinequities women will start "bitching' at men about their career ortheir responsibilities or their chores at home, etc. Whenmen are unresponsive to communication, to discussing and handling thecomplaints, etc. there is only one direction for the communication togo - less sex. She is not turned on. She can't change anything about itwith communication, so she just becomes not interested in sex . Somewomen may even consciously withhold sex on purpose to get across to youthat "something is wrong" and that "we need to talk."

Whena guy still doesn't get what this "lack of sexual interest" is reallyabout, the relationship becomes doomed to one of mediocrity or eventualbreakup.

Ithink the majority of "lack of sexual interest" exhibited by women arethe result of the above perceived inequities - which really just turnwomen off sexually.

Occasionallyhowever, it is not because of the above, it is because of a failure toturn women on properly, that sexual interest is lost.

Mostcommonly it is actually both things at once, because most men who areturning women off are simultaneously failing to turn them on. So mostguys who are not getting sex often enough need to work both on turningwomen on as well as not turning women off .However, occasionally there are guys who are not turning women off,they just aren't doing a very good job at turning women on. That is aneasier case to handle.

Whatmistakes do guys make in regards to turning women on? Here are the fourmost common mistakes that I find men making with respect to turningwomen on.

1)No Romance - Now I've talked about this one extensively in my otherwritings. So let me just put it simply here. You can't stop romancing agirl after you get her to be your girlfriend or wife. Whatever you didto get the girl, you have to keep doing it, do it more extensively,find new ways of doing it, etc. - as long as you want to keep creatinga relationship with this person, you have to keep creating romance withthem.

2)Boring Sexual Routine - Sometimes people fall into a sexual routinethat is fun a first put becomes boring when done day after day, nightafter night. Try some new things, vary the routine. It will help keepthings fresh and interesting between the two of you. Talk about yourlikes and desires and new things you would like to try. Talk about yourfantasies. Be willing to do things she would like to do in exchange fortrying things you would like to do. If you run out of ideas, we have afree mini-courses on our website, (www.DatingToRelating.com )"How To Be a Great Lover" and otherfree materials to help you out with ideas.

3)Not understanding a women's body - a lot of guys, especially theyounger ones, don't understand a women's body. Women need morepreparatory (before actual sex) stimulation thanmen. Men only have to think about it and seem to be ready to do thedeed. Women need to think about it and think about it and think aboutit to become interested and turned on.

Extensive foreplay is a necessity for women to get physically ready and mentally ready to enjoy and get into sex. Talking,having a romantic dinner, holding hands, kissing for hours (like youdid on your first dates ) all prepares a women's body for sex and turnsher on.

Never, never, never try to have intercourse with a women untilshe is turned on. Keep kissing, keep touching, but never haveintercourse until she is totally turned on.

4)Not taking a women to multiple orgasms. -Practically any women iscapable of multiple orgasms. Many think they aren't so they don't tryand many aren't turned on enough or are a little turned off by theirlover so that prevents them from having multiple orgasms.

Thereality though is practically all women can have multiple orgasms. Someneed some time between orgasms, while others are little orgasmicmachines that can continue having orgasm after orgasm for hours on end.The ability to orgasm and to have multiple orgasm can be developed inwomen who think they are incapable by a knowledgable man.

Thisis a subject that books are written on and if you don't know how tomake a women orgasm than I suggest you get one and learn how to make awomen orgasm. (See "How to Make Any Women Orgasm" on our website.)

Makinga women multiple orgasm is similar. You need to learn to observe yourpartner's body. Learn and understand how it works. Some men are evenunsure if a women is even having an orgasm.

Ifyou are observant you will start to observe and know when she is havingan orgasm. Sometimes you can feel the orgasm tighten around you as youare having sex, other times you can feel the women's whole body tightenas she begins to orgasm, sometimes there is quiver or a vibration fromher as she begins to orgasm, other times she begins to get vocal as sheorgasms, or the opposite, she becomes silent as she begins to orgasm

Each women is uniquely different from my experiences, but any women can be figured out if you just become observant.

For some womenmultiple orgasms are achieved outside of intercourse. My lastgirlfriend liked to have the first orgasm by finger or hand, the secondby mouth, and the third and subsequent orgasms by intercourse.

Thismay work well for a woman who becomes dry or irritated by intercourseafter her first orgasm, but you can also do the reverse in that case,depending on the women -- first orgasm by intercourse then second orthird orgasm by mouth or hand.

Forsome women, orgasms are always achieved outside of intercourse.Sometimes two bodies just don't fit together the right way to naturallycreate an orgasm for the women. Be willing to give your partner anorgasm each time you have sex, any way you can - by finger or hand, bymouth, or by machine if you have to.

Please your partner. Do whatever it takes. Always think of her and her pleasure first.

Asa rule I always give my partner her orgasm or orgasms first before Iorgasm as it is much harder (both physically and mentally) to give yourpartner an orgasm when you are flaccid.

Ifyou learn to make a women orgasm and multiple orgasm each time you havesex with her and you don't do the big mistakes to turn her off upabove, I guarantee you she will give you all the sex you want.

I'veeven had relationships in which we totally did not get along, but thesex was so good for her, that she could not break up with me, and evenafter we did break up, she would keep coming back for sex.

Inconclusion, if you learn to 1) NOT do the things that turn women off,and 2) do the things that turn women on, you will probably get more sexout of your women than you can handle. Then I will have to answer yourquestions when you write to me like this:

"Mygirl and I really have fantastic sex, and I really love her, butplease, she is wearing me out, I can't keep up with her demands forsex. What do I do to slow her down, without offending her?"

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